i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
