I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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