He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
