i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
