IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
