I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
