Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
