is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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