You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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