I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
