3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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