i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
