Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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