Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
