Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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