do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
