Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
