Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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