everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize