Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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