evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just gargled with NyQuil
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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