I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
