I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
