I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize