I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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