New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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