sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize