Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
