I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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