2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
