just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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