just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
