For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
