i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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