I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize