talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
