Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy