I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for