Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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