i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
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He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.