went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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