i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i out mim tonsoeep
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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