we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
