In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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