home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
