like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
