I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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