also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
