All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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