i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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