You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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