Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love having hate sex.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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