HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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