Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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