I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Me too!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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