So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
