I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
