She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize