Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
