So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
