Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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