Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
