Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
