but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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