There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
