yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My balls are so social today.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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