I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
